I have a new real life friend on tumblr..

and he asked me what it means to have one new house

one new house

ONE NEW HOUSE

image

I died

So my brother sent me a picture of his daughter. She is the snowsuit Jesus. 

how to troll your roommate: 

Step 1: Create a 24 page word document of grumpy cat photos.
Step 2: Print and cut images to size.
Step 3: Apply all over the wall, ceiling, behind the door, ceiling, and hidden places.
Step 4: Plastic wrap the toilet with Emperor Grumpy Cat “Let the hate flow through you”.

Enjoy the fact that you’re going to get trolled back 

This war has only just begun…

Have you ever read the terms and conditions when uploading a photo to the Chive? 

This is GOLDEN. I accept!

When we ring up condoms at our campus store this pops up on the screen, it gets really hard not to laugh in the face of the customer..
love it when my dash does this
since when does the pink power ranger wear silver 70’s platform shoes? 
Dress: *woosh, flaps up in the wind*
Friend: Oh my gosh, I saw your panties! LOL
Me: No that's Spongebob Squarepants' residential neighborhood
Friend:
Me:
Friend: *stares*
Me: LOL Spongebob's in Bikini Bottom!
Friend: *walks away*
ipod to cassette to boom box… notice the broccoli holding the play button in place? 

"What kind of castle is this? It’s like a poor people’s castle with no lumpy waffles for mah dumptruck!"

- Lumpy Space Princess - Adventure Time 'The Creeps'

My bread was going to go bad so I decided to make my dog a sandwich
Queen 1978: Fat Bottomed Girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round
Bubba Sparxxx 2006: Booty booty booty booty rockin' everywhere
this is how we drink… sometimes… put a shot glass in the poon of a blow up doll… pour liquor… take shot…